Sunday Sundries: Beard time!

Have I ever mentioned that I love my beard?

Last week's Sundry was an emotional one, so let's have a lighter one. On beards!

CW: beards, mention of menstruation, baldness

OK, so first this is all geared towards trans men and masc types who want to grow a beard on T. If beardy things are hard for you, for any reason, this is where you should stop reading, and I'll see you next time.

When I went on T, a beard wasn't even one of the things I was specifically looking for. I wanted the lower voice and lack of menstruation, to help ease my dysphoria. And I got those. I also got more strength (and I already had a bunch of that so that was fun), a bunch of other stuff, and an awful lot of new fur everywhere.

I accept it. I am a Bear. If I'm giving you a gender and I'm feeling flippant, Beardgender/gender is beard is what you'll get (agender if I'm not). I have lovely soft fur everywhere except the top of my head, which went bald—and my head hair continues to thin out.

Who even notices my lack of head hair in the face of such a majestic beard?

I know there has been Discourse about trans men/mascs getting all upset because T gave them male pattern baldness and to them I say stfu.

Don't get me wrong, I did a bit of “aww, but I liked my hair” stuff, but at no point was it an issue because obviously it was always possible.

So unless you somehow managed to get T without reading or being informed of a single damn thing that might happen—and frankly even if you did because you have also existed in the actual world where this is just a thing that happens to cis people all the time—going bald should not give you the shocked pikachu face!

Anyway, back to beards.

During that whole period where my beard tried to grow in, I mostly kept it mowed down. It was a good time to figure out things like how I wanted to shave. I tried a safety razor, straight razor, and a couple of different trimmers.

I learned first that shaving down til my skin was smooth and hairless was a horrible idea. I got itchy skin as it regrew, ingrowing hair everywhere, and my skin was so sensitive.

So I left the close shave stuff behind, and started leaving some stubble there.

I tried a chinstrap at one point, but beard had not yet connected everywhere so it was a bit of a sad and patchy one. I could do it now, but I'm not so fussed. Last time I trimmed it all back, I left the area around my chin then twisted it and added a couple of tiny elastic bands. I loved that viking look, and will definitely do it again.

Today though, I sit here with my majestic beard. I trim it a little, for shape, but otherwise it's just been growing for the last 6 months.

So, while I'm no expert, here's some stuff I've learned about being all beardy:

• Do a brush & comb daily. I use a boar bristle brush and a wooden comb, and they sort out tangles, dry skin, and keep my beard soft and strokeable.

• The longer the beard, the harder it is to do stuff like oil it. But the most important place to oil is where it's growing from, so use your fingers (not nails) and get right in there close to your skin. You can always add a bit more oil as you go, slowly massaging it out through the entire beard. Or, you can switch to wax at that point, which lets you have some control over what your beard is doing, and how it grows, and is a little easier to guide through thicker hair. Also, there is beard shampoo and conditioner: that’ll help hydrate your skin and beard, remove any dry flaking, etc. Post beard shampoo is also a great time to use wax to shape, while it dries.

• The smell of your beard is important. Whatever product you use on it will be right below your nose, so do yourself (and anyone else who might get physically close to you) a favour, and make it a good smell.

• Don't forget to trim. Your beard will grow however it wants, so exert a little control by snipping out the bits that aren’t doing what you want them to do. In a longer beard, this is where you get to properly shape it. Every week or two, use a trimmer or scissors to keep the hair growing on your neck under control, and give the front a quick shaping.

• If your beard includes a moustache, blowing your nose is about to become a whole weird gross thing. Don't forget to clean up properly. Moustache snot is not a good look.

• Got bits of beard that just refuse to fill in? Most people do! If you keep it short, you can learn to work with/around those patches. If you grow it, then they'll disappear under the extra hair. But if you're really struggling with the patches, go look at some other folk with short beards. Look for the shapes and bits that aren't filled in, and you'll see it's just a regular thing. Plus, chances are you're the only one noticing.

  

  Look closely and count all the bits that don’t have beard.

• Always comb through a longer beard, at least with your fingers, after eating. Even if you don't think you dropped anything. It’s just a good habit and will save embarrassment.

• Beard hair is coarser than head hair, but face skin tends to be more sensitive than head skin. So don’t treat them both the same, give your beard it’s own special products and treatment.

• Spilling drinks, or anything else liquidy, on your beard is a huge pain. When I do it (which is regularly because I have constant tremors), it makes my beard hair all clumpy and sticky and gross. So I have to at best run it through with my wet wooden comb, though washing it is the best option if possible.

• Playing around with different styles is a lot of fun. It’s hair! It doesn’t matter what you do with it, you can always grow more. So shave it into fun styles, dye it electric blue, carve geometric patterns into your cheeks…just enjoy this part of the uniqueness that is you!

So there you go. A quick trip into my bit of Beardland.

Got any other tips? Thoughts? Things I missed? Just want to show me your beard? I am totally here for all of these things!

Don’t forget to share and subscribe—and definitely stick around for next week. I have a special post on neurodivergent tics and masking, with a special intro. And, I’m going to open up the chat option then too, so we can talk more about it.